Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Toast to Bio

Since I am in a bro major I usually dont take a whole lot of classes with girls. The bros in my major tend to use some classes as a recruiting ground for the weekend fun trips. This semester I have to take a couple of classes that I have been to lazy to take or really had no desire to take. One of the classes that seems to be overloaded with young girls that a lot of bros seem to predator on is Biology. Nothing beats impressing a young girl with your knowledge of prokaryote organisms. This class seems to be filled with an odd assortment of people. To my left sits the washed up emo kid. The washed up emo kid is really smart but to apathetic to show it. He is in that weird stage of transitioning from emo to scenester. He sits slouchy in his chair and dreams of a day filled with tim burton movies and the used playing all day. He wishes this place would magically turn into a cadaver lab. To my right sits the kid that somehow has made it into college. He is a local kid who smoked way to much herb growing up. He has since cleaned up his act but not before he lost his critical thinking skills. Sometimes you want to throw a helmet on the kid and tell him not to eat his crayons. He doodles a ton in his Lisa Frank notebook. This is also the kid that steals condiments from the eatery just to eat them out of the packages. In front of me sits the kid who treats this class like it is going to get him into Harvard Med. He always has some question or some quote. He never fails to raise his hand and post his test score publicly. I will probably drop kick this kid in the esophagus before the end of semester. Next to me sits the 30+ year old lady who is going back to finish her degree. This lady is cool and brought me no bake cookies the other day so I have nothing ill to say about her. Behind me sits the crown jewel of this little class. I call her Bro Bait. She walks in with the classic Utah poofie hair. You dont know if she has a bump it or not. She is quickly amused by the following a big ol truck, a golds gym pass, a lunch at cafe rio, bedazzled jeans, and a backwards cap that covers his eye brows. The bros show up early for class and try to get that seat so they can impress her. This class has been great for me as I listen to them give their personal ad right there in class. Bio you treat me well. Im glad I have waited this long to take you.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Whaccu Doin This Summer?

I like to listen to what people have to say. Sometimes I only listen to make fun and this is probably a really bad thing. The other day in the hall I was listening as Bro 1 was showing Bro 2 an iPhone app. He was showing him some app that could arm someones security system from their Iphone. Bro 2 then turns to Bro 1 and simply states "alright more sales." This conversation eventually said to one of the greatest questions that could be posed among this circle of friends. The question is simply "yo, so whacchu doing this summer" This question is a hook. Its then usually followed up with a question that begins with "have you ever thought of." Examples are have you ever thought of making 90k in three months? Have you ever wanted to have a different car for everyday of the week? Have you ever wanted to do lines of cocaine with Paris Hilton in your Ferrari? If yes to any of these questions then summer sales is usually cut out for you. It seems that a lot of these young men who get lured into sales love to recruit others to do the same. If you make a friend quickly at school he always has something up his sleeve. If he invites you to dinner on him, he is for sure trying to get you in. If you want a great summer knocking doors in some random part of the US and receiving promises of the good life then go ahead. If you want to take advantage of nice people, this is your summer. The bros will come to recruit you when you least expect it. Thats when you have to make the snap decision; hanging out with Vin Diesel or being a normal person