Friday, February 4, 2011
Welcome to the holidays. It seems that one person from my family always wants something that requires me to make a journey to the mail. The mall is a perfect grab bag of people that are funny. People that you wonder where they came from? and why are they here? The mall seems to be a gathering place of collection of motley characters. I feel that people I encounter at the mall are the same people I encounter on airplanes and on a bus ride. As I first walked in the mall the other day I first saw a guy with a wife beater and a pair of basketball shorts. Since he was wearing this outfit while it was 38 degrees outside i knew it would be a good day. You can also view goth kids, emo kids, bros, people with bejeweled jeans, and Utah hair. As I was walking to the store viewing all these people parading in the mall mixed in with old people exercising I forgot about the worse type of mall people. The Kioskers or the Billy Mays people of the mall. Look man I realize you have to acquire a job post summer sales but dont try to use tactics on me. If i wanted to buy a cell phone from Cricket I would approach you. There is no need to yell like the dude selling popcorn at baseball games. I see your cheesy sign and see your bleached tips. They have all kinds of weird gifts at kiosks. Aprons that flirt, stickers, huge watches, and hd sunglasses. Amongst all of the kiosk people is my most hated mall person, the guy who rubs salt on your skin to make it smooth. This guy will not take no for an answer. He will just walk up to you and throw it on. He will not stop talking to you even if you fake a phone call. He will not stop following you. He just wants you to have the salt experience. The only reason I can think of why this guy is this pushy is because he is a crack head paid commission only in crack. So when you go to the mall watch out for this possibly creepy crackhead who just wants to throw salt on you to smooth your skin.