Thursday, January 19, 2012

Hipster or Homeless

The other day I was driving in Salt Lake and came across the Occupy Salt Lake movement. This movement was originally started in the same park that the homeless people in Salt Lake reside it has since moved. As i was sitting at the red light a group crossed the road. The fog of dirtiness followed this mob. This brought me to question what the hipster to homeless ratio was. I then tried to find where these two sub cultures differ. The result is very little. These are a list of the things i find hard to differentiate in.
1)View on Society- Hipster may say- The World is to mainstream so i made my own. Homeless- The world is to mainstream so they kicked me out.
2)The incorporation of layering flannel. Both seem to use flannel as the end result of dress/ Jacket + Jacket + chunky sweater= alot of flannel
3)Greasy. Both groups are extremely greasy. They appear to have rolled around in a trough of Crisco.
4)Tattoos. If you ever ask a homeless person about a tattoo it usually has some cracked out story behind it. "hey cool tattoo what is it?" homeless guy replies "its a pin up sailor girl playing basketball with mulan" If you address the same question to a hipster you might get something like "its a pizza slice from this really good place in some abandoned alley" The results: both groups get stupid tattoos
5)Government. Hipster- Government is evil and out to get them. Homeless- Government is out to get them and put a microchip in their head. We all know I Robot was about the homeless.
6)Alcohol- If you see a Pabst Blue Ribbon can its coming from one of these two.
7)Job- Hipster- Always starting a business "uh yeah im starting a business that makes snow organic" the result is unemployed. Homeless- Always has a business idea thats unattainable. The result is unemployed
8)Beanie. No matter what time of year it is both groups will be sporting a beanie with whatever they have on or the weather. 102 outside oh let me put on a beanie
9)Food. both prefer places that are off the grid. Hipsters- Some place you never heard of. Homeless- some place you never thought of
10) Theologian- If you ever have questions in regards to theology address either one of these and you will get great answers. Ive met a homeless guy who claimed he was Jesus. Ive also met a hipster who claimed to be a nihilist Mormon. You will for sure get an answer that is to deep for the ordinary person to understand.

I'm glad that the hipsters and homeless have united in a cause. My only hopes would be that they would band together go in the middle of the desert a community full of people who smell bad AKA Burning Man


  1. this is the best and most comprehensive analysis I have read today

  2. LIKE! you are not posting as often as promised.

  3. where do you come up with this stuff? it's beautiful